Sarah, 58, didn't expect to find love again after her divorce five years ago. But here she is, planning a future with Tom, who makes her laugh in ways she forgot were possible. There's just one question nagging at her: should they get married now, or wait until after she turns 60?
It sounds unromantic to let Social Security rules influence wedding plans. But with potentially tens of thousands of dollars at stake, the timing of a remarriage deserves serious consideration, especially if you've been married before.
The Age 60 Rule That Changes Everything
Here's the rule that matters most: if you remarry before age 60, you permanently lose access to spousal benefits based on your ex-spouse's work record. Remarry at 60 or later? You preserve that option.
This creates an odd incentive where waiting just two more years to marry could preserve valuable claiming options. For Sarah, marrying Tom at 58 versus 60 could mean forfeiting thousands in annual benefits if her ex-husband had significantly higher lifetime earnings. The same goes for Tom, if his ex was the big earner.
It's Not Just a Two-Way Comparison
Here's where the calculation gets more complex than most people realize. If Sarah remarries Tom at 60 or later, she won't be choosing between just two options. She could potentially claim one of the following:
Her own retirement benefit
Spousal benefit based on her ex-husband's record (up to 50% of his full retirement age amount)
Spousal benefit based on Tom's record (up to 50% of his full retirement age amount, if he's receiving benefits)
Survivor benefit if her ex-husband dies (up to 100% of what he was receiving)
Social Security pays whichever is highest; you don't get to combine them. But having multiple options to compare means the claiming decision requires looking at several different scenarios.
The key here is that you have to make SSA aware of your scenarios – if you go to claim on your own record, they aren't going to check your prior marriage history to see if your ex's benefit would be higher. But if you give them that info and prove it (with your marriage and divorce documents), they'll automatically send you the higher amount.
How to Find Your Ex's Benefit Information
The most common question: "How do I know my ex's benefit amount if we're not speaking?"
Good news! You don't need to contact your ex. Social Security can provide estimates of your potential divorced spouse benefit without notifying your ex-spouse, you'll just need your marriage certificate and divorce decree. If you don't have your ex's Social Security number, you can still get estimates by providing their name, date of birth, and parents' names.
Your ex doesn't need to have filed for benefits yet either, as long as you've been divorced at least two years and your ex is 62 or older. You can claim even if they haven't started receiving benefits, although you may be locking in a lower amount than if you wait.
What If Your Ex Has Remarried?
Here's the relief: your ex-spouse's remarriage has zero impact on your ability to claim benefits on their record. Both you and their current spouse can receive benefits based on the same person's work history. Your benefit doesn't reduce what your ex receives, and it doesn't reduce what their new spouse receives either.
Social Security doesn't limit how many ex-spouses can claim on one person's record, as long as each marriage lasted at least 10 years.
When Your Ex-Spouse Dies
If your ex-spouse dies, survivor benefits become available, and they're significantly more valuable than spousal benefits. While spousal benefits max out at 50% of your ex's full retirement age amount, survivor benefits can be up to 100% of what they were receiving.
The age 60 remarriage rule still applies. If you remarried before 60, you lose access to survivor benefits from your ex. But remarry at 60 or later, and you can still claim survivor benefits if they exceed what you'd receive based on your new spouse's record or your own work history.
Multiple Marriages? Multiple Options
What if you've been married twice (or more), with each marriage lasting at least 10 years?
Social Security compares benefits from all qualifying marriages and pays whichever is highest. You're not limited to your most recent ex-spouse. The system lets you "comparison shop" among all your ex-spouses' records to find the best benefit.
This is where the claiming strategy gets genuinely complex, requiring you to know:
Each ex-spouse's benefit amounts and whether any have died
Your new spouse's benefit (if remarrying)
Your own earnings record
Resources for Calculating Your Options
Social Security offers free calculators through your "my Social Security" account at ssa.gov/myaccount. The spouse's benefit calculator can help you compare your own benefit against spousal benefits.
However, coordinating a claiming strategy with multiple ex-spouses, a new spouse, and your own record often requires more sophisticated analysis than generic calculators provide.
Building Your Claiming Strategy
The decision framework:
Before age 60: Understand that remarrying before 60 permanently eliminates divorced spouse benefits from your ex's record. Run the numbers to determine if waiting preserves significantly higher lifetime benefits. Don't assume just because your new partner makes a lot more money today than your ex did when you were married that it will translate into a higher benefit as their spouse; always check because benefits are determined by lifetime earnings.
At or after age 60: You preserve maximum flexibility. Compare all available options—your benefit, each ex-spouse's benefit, and your new spouse's benefit.
The Bottom Line
Social Security's rules around divorce and remarriage create financial incentives that can influence major life decisions, like whether Sarah and Tom should marry now or in two years. That's not unromantic. It's recognizing that smart financial planning allows couples to maximize household income in retirement.
For Sarah, the math requires comparing her benefit against what she could receive from her ex-husband's record and potentially from Tom's record. Only then can she determine whether waiting until 60 provides enough additional lifetime benefits to justify the delay.
If you're navigating Social Security claiming strategies with divorce and remarriage in your history, contact us to review your specific situation and build a strategy that maximizes your lifetime benefits.