Your inbox has three party invites waiting for a response. Your child's teacher just sent around the volunteer signup sheet. Your partner mentioned hosting their family this year. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you're wondering when you'll find time to get your car serviced before that road trip you haven't fully committed to yet.
Sound familiar?
They say that saying yes to one thing is saying no to countless other things, and that's never more true than in the last quarter of the year. Between late October and early January, our calendars fill with gatherings, traditions, expectations, and obligations that seem to multiply by the day.
And here's what nobody talks about enough: all of this costs money. Not just the obvious expenses like gifts and travel, but the hidden costs of saying yes when we mean maybe or no. The hostess gift for a party you didn't really want to attend. The upgraded outfit because you felt underdressed at last year's event. The elaborate decorations because everyone else seems to go all out. The rushed takeout because you're too exhausted to cook after another evening commitment.
When we're overwhelmed, we spend reactively rather than intentionally. We say yes out of guilt, obligation, or the fear of missing out. And then we pay for those yeses in both dollars and exhaustion.
But what if there was a simple filter that could help you navigate all of this?
The Power of a Seasonal Word
Here's the good news about the holidays: they come around every year. And saying no to some things doesn't mean never doing them. It just means not this year. We’re not saying to skip your grandchild's winter concert or cancel Thanksgiving with family. But you do get the opportunity to be selective about everything else.
One idea to help you prioritize and filter your choices: choose a word for the season. Just one word that captures what you want this time of year to feel like. This becomes your decision-making lens for the next few months.
Think about it. When a spending opportunity or invitation arrives, you can ask: Does this align with my word? You'll have an automatic priority filter that helps you say yes or no with confidence.
And here's the financial benefit that's easy to overlook: clarity prevents impulse decisions. When you know what you're optimizing for, you stop spending on things that don't serve that goal. You're not being cheap or antisocial. You're being intentional. And intentionality is the foundation of healthy personal finances.
Why This Actually Works
Decision fatigue is real, and it's expensive. Every choice we make depletes our mental energy, and by December, most of us are running on fumes. That's when we're most vulnerable to overspending and over-committing.
When we're overwhelmed, we either default to yes (to avoid conflict) or we make decisions based on immediate relief rather than our actual values. Both paths lead to regret and often to overspending.
A seasonal word acts as a pre-made decision framework. Instead of evaluating every opportunity from scratch while you're already stressed, you've already done the thinking. This protects both your time and your budget, helping you avoid the "obligation tax"—those purchases and commitments you take on not because you want to, but because you feel you should.
How to Choose Your Word
The key is choosing a word that's authentic to you and your current season of life.
Start by asking yourself a few questions:
What feeling do I want to prioritize during the next few months?
What's been missing from past holiday seasons that left me feeling disappointed or depleted?
When I imagine looking back on this time come January, what will make me feel satisfied?
What would honor both my values and my current reality (energy, budget, family situation, work demands)?
Here are some examples of words and how they might play out in practice:
Festive - You might say yes to decorating, attending celebrations, and wearing all those ugly Christmas sweaters. You might say no to activities that feel somber or obligatory, even if they're tradition. Your spending goes toward creating atmosphere and joy, not toward maintaining appearances.
Cozy - You say yes to intimate gatherings, comfortable clothes, and staying home. You say no to elaborate hosting, large parties, and activities that require getting dressed up. Your budget prioritizes comfort, warmth, and the feeling of sanctuary rather than spectacle. (you can wear the Hannukah earrings next year!)
Connection - You prioritize one-on-one time and meaningful conversations. You say yes to dinners with old friends and activities that allow for real interaction. You say no to large networking events and shows where you can’t talk. Your gift budget focuses on thoughtful, personal items rather than trying to give something to everyone.
Creative - You invest time and resources in making things, trying new approaches, and expressing yourself. You might say yes to a non-traditional celebration or DIY gifts. You say no to cookie-cutter expectations and keeping up with others.
Notice how each word creates different spending priorities? That's the point. Your word helps you direct your finite resources—time, energy, and money—toward what actually matters to you. At least for this year.
Applying Your Word to Financial Decisions
Once you've chosen your word, use it as a filter for every decision:
Before accepting an invitation: Does attending align with my word, or will it pull me away from what I've said matters?
Before buying a gift: Does this gift reflect my word, or am I buying it out of obligation? (Someone whose word is "connection" might skip generic gift cards in favor of handwritten letters. Someone whose word is "generous" might spend more but on fewer, more meaningful items.)
Before decorating or entertaining: Does this expense support my word? (If your word is "cozy," you're probably not spending on an elaborate outdoor light display. If it's "festive," you might be.)
Before booking travel: Does this trip align with what I want this season to be? Or am I going because I think I should?
Before signing up to volunteer, host, or organize: Does this commitment serve my word, or will it stretch me too thin to actually experience what I've said I want?
The question isn't "Can I afford this?" It's "Does this align with what I've decided matters right now?"
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
Don't choose a word that sounds impressive but isn't true to you. If you choose "simple" because it sounds virtuous, but you actually love elaborate celebrations, you'll just feel deprived. Choose the word that reflects what you genuinely want.
Don't use your word as a weapon against yourself. If you chose "restful" but then beat yourself up every time you say yes to something energizing, you've missed the point. The word is meant to clarify, not to create rigid rules.
Don't let guilt override your filter. Other people will have opinions about your choices. Some may even be hurt that you're saying no to traditions or expectations. Remember: you're not saying never. You're saying not this year. And that's allowed.
Don't confuse intentionality with being miserly. Having a word isn't about spending as little as possible. It's about spending purposefully. If your word is "generous" or "celebratory," you might actually spend more than usual, assuming that’s within your current financial reality. The goal is alignment, not deprivation.
Making It Through to January
Imagine it's the second Saturday of January. The decorations are put away. The credit card statement has arrived. You're looking back on the last few months.
If you've spent the season saying yes to everything and everyone, you're probably exhausted, possibly resentful, and maybe dealing with a budget hangover that will take months to recover from.
But if you've used a seasonal word as your guide, something different happens. You've said yes to what mattered and no to what didn't. You've spent money on things that aligned with your values rather than on obligations and expectations. You might not have done everything or pleased everyone, but you'll remember what you did do—and your bank account won't be in crisis mode.
The holidays aren't going anywhere. They'll be back next year, and you'll have another chance to participate differently if you want to.
But this year? Choose one word. And let everything else flow from that answer.